I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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