Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I need to align my fucking chakras
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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