Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
