Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
