Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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