so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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