so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You're like the curious george of whores
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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