wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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