Yo dont text me then not text me
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
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I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
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He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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