mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
