I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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