ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i believe in u and ur pee
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
