my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
