so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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