So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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