Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction