yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
