This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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