My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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