DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Operation Purity has been aborted
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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