Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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