i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize