did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
