you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
