I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
