Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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