I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
