some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
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you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
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Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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