My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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