your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
