? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
