I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
