from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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