Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
