so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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