sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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