Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
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