You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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