Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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