My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
