There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
