We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize