I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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