Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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