Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
