I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
