Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize