Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
