i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
