If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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