When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
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It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
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I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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