that's an acceptable place to lick
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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