why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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