Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
