so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
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i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
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Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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