so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Is it penis luge time yet?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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