OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
What a dumb baby whore.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
