is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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