You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think my vagina is haunted
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
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Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
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You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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