did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
