the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
