If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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