Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
