Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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