dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
