went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
